Mary Carey - The Porn Star Who Would Be Governor of California
Mary Carey's UCLA Speech
At Harbor UCLA Research & Education Institute, on August 28, 2003
Thanks to medical research such as that done by the Harbor UCLA Research and Education Institute we know that the most important factors in maintaining a healthy heart are a sensible diet and regular exercise. Some people swim, some people do aerobics. I personally recommend having sex at least once a day. The more vigorous, the better. It burns calories, increases your heart rate, and gets your circulation going. Of course, to be effective, a workout should last at least thirty minutes. So for some of you guys, rock climbing would probably be easier! But a great fringe benefit, if you embark on this exercise program, is that you can buy my videos and tell your wife that you’re just watching workout videos!
But in all seriousness, the best way to keep yourself healthy and avoid heart disease is through prevention. Treatment for diseases is great, but successful prevention is the ultimate goal of all medicine. And the basis of successful prevention is medical research. Research such as that done by this great institute and others.
OK, so we all agree that medical research is great. But as we know, research takes money. What’s the best way to keep institutes such as this funded and doing more research? I believe it is NOT through additional government support. Because big government is one of the most inefficient business models in the world. That’s one of the reasons California is suffering a $38 billion deficit. Private enterprise is much more efficient. I think medical research institutes should pattern themselves after AMFAR the American Foundation for AIDS Research. Funded by voluntary contributions from individuals, foundations, and corporations, AMFAR has invested nearly $207 million in support of its mission since 1985 and funded grants to over 1,960 research teams worldwide.
How does AMFAR raise so much money? They hold creative fundraisers, many of them hosted by celebrities who support the cause. This is the same method that Jerry Lewis will use this weekend to raise money for muscular dystrophy. I think the media turnout today shows that adult film stars, too, might be able to benefit charities. I know a lot of porn stars that would be thrilled to support medical research. I know that Ron Jeremy would definitely support any medical research organization that could help him lose some weight! My serious message in all of this is that medical research institutes and other charities can thrive more within the sphere of private enterprise than with government handouts. All it takes is a worthy cause coupled with creative marketing – and a handful of celebrities don’t hurt either!
I would like to expand on this idea as it relates to other segments of health care. For example, so-called “universal health care. I am against any kind of socialized medical programs. Having universal health care is certainly a noble goal. But we need to achieve that goal through private enterprise rather than through more taxes and more government.
For example, why not create charity-run hospitals and clinics specifically to care for those who cannot afford to pay for health care? If Sally Struthers can go on TV and raise millions of dollars for children outside the United States, then why can’t I or another celebrity go on TV to raise money for hospitals and clinics to care for the uninsured children of California?
Such charity-run hospitals and clinics could be equipped to provide counseling services on topics such as birth control, addiction counseling, employment counseling, whatever tools they need to improve their lives. Corporations who support these charities get a tax write-off and good PR. And private hospitals that cater to those with insurance would no longer be economically punished for caring for people without insurance.
People tend to get very emotional about health care. But the bottom line is, any program that does not make economic sense will not be around for long. Any program that contributes to our $38 billion deficit will be cut by legislators when it comes to election time.
I am also in favor of physician-assisted suicide in California. The reason America is such a great country is because citizens have the right to live their lives in any manner they choose. Why shouldn’t they also have the right to make the final decision of their lives? With the proper safeguards such as certification of the patients’ mental capabilities, and qualified medical opinions as to their state of health and longevity I believe a California citizen should have the right to choose the time, place and manner of their death.
In this as in all matters, I am pro-choice. I believe it is a woman’s right to choose whether or not she will have an abortion. If believe it is a homosexual couple’s right to get married if they so choose. I support ferret owner’s rights to bring their pets into this state legally. And I believe that every adult has the right to watch an adult movie in the privacy of their own home, without John Ashcroft telling them what they can or cannot watch.
I hope all of you vote for me as governor on Oct. 7. Because if I win, I'm going to jump up and down like this!
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